On James
by m-erechyn
Summary: Peter Pettigrew on his friendship with James Potter. "Because it was still the four of us... the Marauders with a capital M. Us vs. the world. We were like a family, almost." Gen. MWPP. First person. Not slash.


Disclaimer: I only write about what could've been. HP belongs to JKR & the rest of the folks with a stake in that world.

_A/N: I've never written Peter before; this is my attempt to understand him through his relationship with James. I've never written a first-person fanfiction, either... a lot of firsts, this one. _

_Thanks for reading! Any and all feedback is much appreciated._

He was the first one I met at Hogwarts. First marauder, I mean, though we didn't come up with that name till third year. But James was the first.

That sounds kind of funny, but it's the truth, I guess. James was my first friend. Before I went to Hogwarts all I had was just the twins next door and they weren't very exciting, because they were both about five years younger than me. Mostly I took care of my little sisters or helped out my mum with odd jobs around the house. You know, fixing the sink, cleaning up, stuff like that. Anyway, James.

I got on the Express early so there weren't very many people on the train. I didn't really want to sit by myself; I mean, what's the fun in traveling alone? And I was scared, too, though I guess I can only say that now. It's been a long time. Anyway, he was already sitting in the compartment, James I mean. So I came in and said hullo and sat across from him.

I remember thinking that he looked kind of nerdy at first because he was wearing these really awful glasses. _Truly _awful, like the kind of glasses a grandpa might wear. But as soon as I sat down he took them off and stashed them into his bag (it was really messy, I remember, crammed with a whole bunch of stuff) and then he pulled out another pair that was taped together in the middle.

"These are my real glasses," he told me as he put them on, even though I didn't ask him anything. That's the way James was (and still is, I guess). He'll explain away anything that might injure his pride. It's just how he is. I've gotten used to it. "My mum gave me those old ones for Hogwarts because I broke these ones during a prank."

That was my first impression of James Potter.

We talked after that: we found out we both liked Quidditch and that we both liked chocolate frogs. Naturally that led to a card swap; James's collection was much more impressive than mine. I guess it's because we couldn't really afford too much extra stuff when I was younger. It's not so bad now, I've got a side job that the school doesn't know about, but with...you-know-who and all, we have to be careful.

James wouldn't say you-know-who. He'd say Voldemort.

That's the thing about James. He's not afraid like me. I mean he's human, so he must be afraid deep down, but he never shows it, not to us. I don't know who he puts that show on for. Is it for us or is it for him? Or is it for Lily?

I remember when James first caught on to her. Second year. I remember he turned to me during dinner and said "Oi, Pete, who's _that_?" and at first I thought he was pointing out some, I dunno, spectacularly ugly Slytherin so that we could make fun of him or something. But no, he was pointing at Lily.

So I did the right proper thing and said: "oh, that's Evans. We have herbology with her." Actually, Lily and I got along pretty well at the time. We were both fairly good at herbology--she was better than me, of course, but Lily's better than almost everybody at everything, except for maybe being nice.

I didn't realize that that moment would be the beginning of James's obsession, that after that day he'd forever be trying to win her over. Honestly, I think I've been the best of us all in dealing with James.

Remus kind of gave up, after a while. Not like he told James to quit; Remus would never do that, he's too nice. But he just retreated to the background like he does sometimes. And he couldn't really pick a side because he was friends with Lily, too. Actually I think at one point they were together, but I'm not sure. You know Remus. He has a lot of secrets.

And Sirius--well, he and Lily have never gotten along. I think it's because they're too much alike, honestly. They're both fiendishly smart and good looking and et cetera, et cetera. I could sing their praises all day long, but I'd rather not. And maybe Sirius was a little jealous that Lily was getting all that attention from James, though I think he only got jealous later. James didn't really get too into her until, oh, fifth year or so.

I was jealous too, I'll admit. But I kept my mouth shut and I even acted as messenger a few times. I think it was those herbology classes together in second year that prevented Lily from using me as a... demonstration of what she could do to James. Yeah, she got kind of scary sometimes. But we still kind of liked her, me and Remus that is. She's all right.

Now that James actually _has _Lily it's kind of funny, because that mission has been accomplished and now I'm left with nothing to do. It's never been hard for me to find a girlfriend, I'm nice enough and I don't think I'm that bad looking. Maybe I'm not devilishly handsome like Sirius or... I can't think of an adjective for Remus, but the girls like him. Anyway, I've never had trouble dating. But I've gotten off topic.

The thing is, after James finally got the girl, he... stuck to her. Like he was spellotaped to her or something, I don't know. James-and-Lily, that's all there is now. He's happy, yeah, but sometimes I wish it was just James again.

I don't know what our relationship's like anymore, really. Okay, that sounds really poncy, and let me get this straight--I don't like James in _that _way; never have. It's just girls for me, all right? But we used to be pretty close... maybe not like brothers but almost, and now that's gone. Or at least it's changed.

Before, when James and Sirius formed their everlasting alliance, I still had Remus. I like Remus and we get along really well, though I'm not as good friends with him as he is with Sirius. But that wasn't a problem at all, you know? Because it was still the four of us... the Marauders with a capital M. Us vs. the world. We were like a family, almost. A weird, prank-loving, immature family. And then James discovered Lily, and then Lily discovered James.

The marauders have been split. It's James-and-Lily and Remus-and-Sirius. I'm all alone and...

He was the first, I mean. And I was the second. People see James, they think of Lily or maybe before that, Sirius; but really, I was the second marauder. I was the second one in that compartment. And before Sirius broke down his big Black defense, before Remus realized that we could and would keep his secrets... there was me. Just me.

James and Peter. Peter and James.

Now it's only Peter.

I guess it's just me again. But he's happy, James is, and that's what counts, right?


End file.
